Zachary is fascinated by people from other countries. Today preschool discussed Mexico. He has been talking about it all day! He has told me all about the weather in "mexican" and what they were. He is very interested in learning about China. Whenever we have what he calls "china-food" it starts a whole new series of questions. What do the people look like, how do we get there, do they live in houses...it makes me wonder what he is thinking. You can almost see the wheels turning in his head sorting out all of this information. Later this week he will be learning about Japan and he is so excited about that. I love this age of learning and discovering!
I have some pretty great kids. For all of the craziness I know how lucky I am. As a parent I think we constantly worry about doing the right thing for our kids. I had a simple thought last night...there is no right or wrong way to do this. No one has the perfect answer and even those that seem like they do probably don't. I am my child's advocate, no one is going to do that for me and while some decisions come easier than others, even the toughest ones will work out in the end.
That said, we have been struggling to find the right mix to help Logan deal with his ADD. I have not said much about it, just processing a lot internally I guess. It took over a year to diagnose and now we are 8 months in, trying to find the right balance for treatment. I feel responsible for each little struggle he goes through and an amazing amount of pride for each hurdle he overcomes. What a different a year makes. He is doing so much better in school this year and I am so proud of him.
Looking at Zachary and wondering what life has in store for him too. He and Logan are such different individuals. I imagine Zach will find fun and excitement where ever he goes in life.
Much can be learned from a conversation we had this morning: Zach: Mom, we're not going to live with you when we grow up. Mom: Oh? where will you live? Zach: Well, we will be superheros so we will have our own base.
Well summer is winding down and I am not yet ready for Logan to return to school. I wish we were a bit more structured in the summer but otherwise it has been fun so far and really I only have myself to blame for that lack of structure. Been doing lots of "stay-cation" type trips and it is so fun to discover new places with the boys as well as visiting old favorites.
We have finally come to a turning point with all of the investigating into whether or not Logan has a learning disability and the good news is that not only does he not have one, according to the testing he has done this summer he is right where he needs to be as far as grade level and abilities. The tough part is that he is just over the threshhold for ADHA. He isn't that super hyper kid that you see in the classroom bouncing off the walls but he is lacking the ability to pay attention. And it just about broke my heart to listen to the therapist decribe the struggles she observed in him during her classroom visit in June. So the next step is the possibility of medication and also a support group our doctor offers for the kids. It will be good for him to understand he is not alone in these feelings. I have been against medication from the beginning, but at this point we have done everything physically possible to help him, we owe it to him to give this a try.
Still working out the kinks of being home. "What's the big deal?" you ask??? I dunno. I guess I just wonder if I am doing all that I could be doing for my kids my husband and our home. I often find myself worrying that I somehow fall short in this area. There really is no way to judge success by anything other than failure and by then, isn't it too late?? And I miss working. At least part of me does. I always said my career was what I did NOT who I was but maybe I was kidding myself. So much of what I did really defined me as a person.
But that said, I still LOVE being home. Helping Logan as he is struggling with school and being able to be there for all the little moments that shape him on a daily basis, nothing is better than that. AND I have the joy of spending the days with Zach, teaching him his ABC's and counting. It is so fun.
So, that leaves us with the adventure. :) Logan has been playing flag football again and loving it. He wants to play tackle next year. Not sure I am ready for that. His nickname is the Bus. Zachary decided yesterday that his nickname should be "Meat" So now I have my two boys, Meat & Bus. (Please insert eye roll here) More to come I am sure. Getting ready for a summer of adventure!!
Everyday is still an adjustment sometimes. I love being home but it is strange. I get tired of doing the same things day after day. But on the other hand I love taking Logan to and from school everyday. I love doing little things with Zach that I would miss if I was working. Logan has told me that "You better not get a job!" He really likes me staying home.
I am so enjoying this opportunity to finally stay home with the boys and just be a Mom. It is hard and I miss working but I love this life. So many things I have wanted to do but never had the time before.
We have had a great summer. Despite the challenges of unemployment I know the rest of the year will be great too!!